during the first half of the NBA game at Talking Stick Resort Arena on January 8, 2017 in Phoenix, Arizona. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.

(SP) – Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Kyrie Irving hurled himself to his death late last night after his team was blown out by the San Antonio Spurs, Cleveland’s third loss in four games and tenth in its last 17.

Cavaliers coach Tyronn Lue confirmed the news this morning, saying Irving was distraught about his play and was overheard telling teammates he was “going to jump off the end of the world and into the abyss” in the post-game locker room.

“I don’t want to comment too much until everyone has been notified,” said Lue. “I’d just ask everyone to keep Kyrie in your thoughts and prayers.”

Irving, only age 25, was instrumental in helping Cleveland win a championship last season, but has struggled of late with his shot. He stayed late after last night’s loss to work on his jumper but quickly departed, telling an assistant coach that “it was no use, because the ball being a sphere is a lie.” Lue said he has not been seen since.

However, teammate LeBron James claimed this morning that Irving is fine.

“I mean, he’s fine physically. He’s obviously got mental and cognitive issues, though,” said James. “He said he was going to jump off the end of the world, but ended up rolling down an embankment by the freeway. Don’t worry, his dumbass will be in the lineup next game.”


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