CLEVELAND – Cavaliers star LeBron James announced today he will not rest for the remainder of the regular season on one condition: if no one criticizes him if he is physically run down in the postseason and the Cavaliers fall short of another championship.
“Look, I completely understand why fans want to see me out there every night,” said James. “But I’m trying to keep myself fresh for when the games really matter. I know how the media and fans have come down on me when I don’t win a championship.”
But James said he’s willing to meet fans halfway.
“All that said, I think we can compromise,” the superstar continued. “If everyone out there vows to not say mean things about me, to call me a choker or overrated or terrible or that sort of thing if we lose – and I mean from people on social media to Skip Bayless-types in the media – then I will agree to play every regular season game, risking my health and energy for the playoffs. But I’m going to need everyone to promise first, okay?”
NBA commissioner Adam Silver has endorsed James’ plan and is currently working to get nationwide sign-off.
“I just need about 75 million more Twitter accounts to agree and also the entire staff at FS1 and then I think we’ll be good to go,” the commissioner excitedly announced. “This is great for the NBA.”