NEW YORK, NY – APRIL 28: A general view of the draft stage during the 2011 NFL Draft at Radio City Music Hall on April 28, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images)

Many sports web-sites will publish mock drafts leading up to the NFL Draft on April 27, but only SportsPickle has retained rights to be the OFFICIAL mock draft. This, and all future editions are 100% accurate, while mock drafts on other sites are just idiots guessing. 

#1 – Cleveland Browns – Just Not Jared Goff

If there’s one lesson teams learned from the 2016 draft, it was to not take Jared Goff No. 1 overall. That was a big mistake. So you have to think even the Browns aren’t dumb enough to take Jared Goff No. 1 in 2017, but we’ll see.

#2 – San Francisco 49ers – Dylan Molloy, Attack, Brown

Molloy won the Tewaaraton Award this year, given to the best NCAA lacrosse player in the nation. Patriots receiver Chris Hogan never won that award and he’s turned into a star. Molloy obviously has even more upside.

#3 – Chicago Bears – a guy named David

With the top two players off the board in someone who isn’t Jared Goff and Brown University lacrosse standout Dylan Molloy, the Bears will go with a value pick. And there’s no bigger value than drafting someone named David. If you look at the 2017 Pro Bowl teams, more players were named “David” than any other.

  • David DeCastro, G, Steelers
  • David Bakhtiari, T, Packers
  • David Johnson, RB, Cardinals

You don’t have to be an analytics expert to realize that you have to take a David.

#4 – Jacksonville Jaguars – Cole Mazza, LS, Alabama

Jacksonville’s first two picks in last year’s draft — Jalen Ramsey and Myles Jack — earned rave reviews at the time. But then the Jaguars went out and sucked even worse than they usually do. It’s time to change up the approach and draft someone who will be universally panned — and you can’t do worse than taking a long-snapper with the No. 4 overall pick.

#5 – Tennessee Titans – ?

No one cares.

#6 – New York Jets – Chris Godwin, WR, Penn State

The Jets are obviously very high on quarterback Christian Hackenberg or they wouldn’t have used a 2nd Round pick on him last year. But in order for Hackenberg to reach the superstar level, the Jets need to surround him with some of the weapons he had at Penn State when he led an offensive that was consistently among the Top 12 in the Big Ten.

#7 – Los Angeles Chargers – JuJu Smith-Schuster, WR, USC

When you move to a new city, nothing helps more than meeting someone who knows the area. Smith-Schuster is one of the highest-rated receivers in the draft and, best of all, he probably knows where some great brunch spots are in L.A.

#8 – Carolina Panthers – Cam Robinson, OT, Alabama

The hulking Crimson Tide lineman has the strength and endurance to repeatedly help Cam Newton up off the ground after the other Carolina linemen let him get crushed.

#9 – Cincinnati Bengals – Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, ISIS

Explosive. Just wants to win. The Bengals will likely be okay with his off-the-field issues. If not, then look for them to take Oklahoma running back Joe Mixon here.

#10 – Buffalo Bills – draft pick traded

The Bills will trade out of the 1st Round to save money so they can fit Johnny Manziel in under the cap. Buffalo is looking for a quarterback and Manziel could be the answer. Even if not, the fans will still love him because he’ll drink with them in the parking lot and jump through flaming tables.

See all of SP’s unparalleled NFL Draft coverage … 

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