NEW YORK, NY – MARCH 8: (L to R) Tom Holmoe, director of athletics at Brigham Young University, works as the NCAA Basketball Tournament Selection Committee meets on Wednesday afternoon, March 8, 2017 in New York City. The committee is gathered in New York to begin the five-day process of selecting and seeding the field of 68 teams for the NCAA MenÕs Basketball Tournament. The final bracket will be released on Sunday evening following the completion of conference tournaments. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Gonzaga: This is the first time you’ve filled out a tournament bracket.

Villanova: You have had dreams of Jay Wright delivering your bracket winnings to you as he emerges bare-chested from a swimming pool.

Duke: You were all in on Trump as soon as he promised tax cuts.

Kansas: One of the main things you know about basketball is that it’s not football.

North Carolina: You think Tar Heels players will be very motivated to earn three credits for Net Cutting.

Arizona: You feel that the best coaches sweat until you can see their nipples.

Kentucky: You think this is the best freshmen class the sport of college basketball has seen since all of the other Kentucky freshmen classes.

N. Kentucky: You did not read your bracket very closely.

Louisville: Your hunch is that if strippers helped Tiger Woods win when it mattered, they can do it for college basketball players, too.

Baylor: You’ve given up all hope for the world and just assume the Baylor athletic department will keep up the streak of awful people winning things.

Notre Dame: You hope the Irish having a good NCAA Tournament will distract people from the fact that Notre Dame went 4-8 in football.

Northwestern: You are sports media professional who went to Northwestern and thinking the Wildcats could go all the way is your new dumbest hot take in a career full of them.

UCLA: You think you could beat Michael Jordan one-on-one.


Also see … HONEST Headlines: NCAA Tournament

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