Sports are great for kids to keep them in shape and teach them about teamwork … but running kids to and from practices and games can really take up a lot of time! Has all this hustle and bustle transformed you into a soccer mom?! Read below to see if any of these things describe you and make you an official Soccer Mom!

– You have a minivan full of sports equipment!

– When you go to Europe, people call you a Football Mom!

– You and your friends essentially decided the 1996 presidential election!

– You got a neck tattoo that reads SOCCER MOM while you were in prison for embezzling funds from your local youth soccer league.

– You are married to a Soccer Dad!

– Your child eats so many orange slices that he or she frequently shits himself during soccer games from excessive Vitamin C intake and now he doesn’t have any friends because he constantly has diarrhea running down his leg and you and your family have become outcasts in the community!

– You achieved Soccer Mom certification through an internationally-recognized accreditation body!

– A current player in the Bundesliga was once in your vagina. But not for sex. You birthed him from your birth canal.

– You constantly fantasize about leaving your whole life behind and starting over alone far, far away, and — if that’s not possible — then you welcome the warm embrace of death.

– You can’t remember the last time you slept in on a Saturday, but you do know the time of your kid’s soccer game!

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