(SP) – NFL draft prospect Josh Rosen held a special workout for NFL scouts today at the UCLA campus, running through a short series of passing drills before inviting all the assembled scouts over to a table to watch him eat a large bowl of lead paint chips mixed with milk.
“There has been a growing concern among teams looking at Josh that he is too intelligent and knows too much about the world to be a successful football player,” said Rosen’s agent. “We hope today he proved his willingness to impair his brain enough to play in the NFL.”
The scouts in attendance said they were very encouraged by Rosen’s display and now see him as the top quarterback in the draft.
“After he finished the bowl, I pulled him aside and said: ‘Tell me your thoughts on current events,’” said one NFL scout whose team has a pick in the top five. “All he did was drool and say: ‘I like football. Football is good.’ It was great.”
Hours after the paint chip-eating, however, Rosen told several reporters that it was just a ploy to boost his draft stock.
“I ate Corn Flakes, not paint chips,” he said. “I just told them it was lead paint chips and they were too dumb to double-check. Obviously, I don’t love eating Corn Flakes either because they’re part of the Kellogg’s family’s and multi-national food corporations make huge profits simply on people needing to eat to stay alive. But I thought it would be okay to eat them this once.”
Asked if he was worried that admitting to reporters that he didn’t eat lead paint chips would undercut the entire point of the display, Rosen said he was not.
“I’m fairly certain no NFL scouts can read,” he said.