BUFFALO – Former Jets and Bills head coach Rex Ryan became the latest coach to accuse Bill Belichick of bending the rules today, saying he has reason to believe the Patriots head coach repeatedly spied on him through his office microwave in New York and Buffalo.
“There’s two things I know,” the currently unemployed Ryan told the Buffalo News. “One: my microwave was a central part of my office throughout my career. Microwave dinners, burritos, pizza bites, microwave pizzas, leftover pizza your warm up in the microwave … it’s all been a staple of my diet since I entered the league and the microwave is right by desk. The second thing is that now I find out that the CIA can spy on you through your microwave. Knowing what we know about Belichick, you put the two together.”
Ryan said he feels his 5-12 all-time record against Belichick and the Patriots would be a lot better if the New England coach hadn’t been aware of his game plans via microwave surveillance.
“Here I sit, out of a job and my struggles against the Patriots are a big reason,” said Ryan. “You flip that record around to 12-5 and I’m still probably coaching. In fact, I probably never get fired by the Jets. It’s just frustrating. And a little embarrassing, too. I usually take my shirt off when I eat because I sweat a lot. That’s a private time and Bill invaded it.”
Belichick denied Ryan’s claims today.
“I think we beat Rex’s teams fair and square on the field,” Belichick said, his voice suddenly emerging from a toaster oven in the newsroom’s break room.