NYSE halts trading to honor Dow Jones for hitting 21,000-point milestone

NEW YORK – The New York Stock Exchange halted trading this morning to honor the Dow Jones on hitting the 21,000-point milestone, an all-time record. All of the traders on the floor received a framed trade ticket and all of the CEOs of corporations listed on the exchange received 21,000 pieces of gold.

“This is a special day in capitalism history and it’s important to take a moment to honor it,” said NYSE chairman Jeff Sprecher. “There have been some bumps along the way. A great depression. Multiple recessions. Yet those with large and diverse portfolios are wealthier today than ever before. Dow Jones, you are the greatest stock market index of all-time.”

Sprecher then rang the NYSE bell 21 times to honor the points milestone — and then one more time to resume trading on the path to 22,000.

Longtime trader Robert Clifton said he was simply honored to be on the floor the day the points mark was reached.

“Dow Jones is the kind of exchange that really makes those around it better,” said Clifton. “I’m just a small part of what goes on here, but I feel like this is my day, too, you know? I’m going to tell my grandkids one day about how I traded on the greatest exchange of all-time. If I can afford kids and grandkids, of course. Traders actually don’t make a ton of money compared to the amount that goes through here every day. Actually, I think I picked the wrong career.”