PHILADELPHIA – The 2017 NFL Draft got off to a memorable start when a Philadelphia Eagles fan hurled a car battery off of Roger Goodell as the commissioner was announcing the first selection.

“With the first pick in the 2017 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns selec- …,” Goodell started saying, before the heavy battery slammed into the side of his skull, breaking open the left side of his face. A huge roar immediately went up from everyone in attendance.

As Goodell dropped to one knee behind the podium, clutching his shattered face as blood gushed down onto his chest, many NFL staffers were seeing high-fiving, as well. Representatives at the Patriots table began chest bumping.

“Yes! This is the greatest draft ever!” one yelled. “This is better than when we got Brady!”

Minutes later, an announcement was made that Goodell was being rushed to the hospital, but would survive. The announcement was immediately met with loud boos.


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