(SP) – The NFL announced this evening that it is revoking its 6-game suspension for Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott and will instead punish him by making him play out the full season with this Cowboys team.
“After taking more time to consider the initial punishment,” said an NFL spokesman, “it was decided that a much harsher and embarrassing penalty would be to force Elliott to waste a year of his career playing on a team with no defense, a hugely overrated No. 1 receiver and quarterback, a head coach who has never won anything and a senile old man as team owner an general manager. We should have thought of this at the start.”
Elliott will reportedly immediately seek to appeal the suspension and request that he begin his 6-game suspension immediately.
“The NFL is seeking to be cruel with his punishment now,” said the running back’s agent. “We will be happy to not play for the Cowboys. Forcing him to play for this team is akin to football torture.”