LOS ANGELES – Magic Johnson announced the first major move of his tenure as Lakers front office advisor today, trumpeting the team’s acquisition of a brand new basketball.
“Basketball is a sport played with a ball called a basketball,” Johnson stated at a Staples Center press conference. “I like basketball. And I like this basketball,” he added, pointing and smiling at the new basketball. “Okay, I’ll open it up to some questions.”
After a few moments of stunned silence, one reporter asked Johnson why he felt a new basketball was the best move for a Lakers team that is 19-39 and has the third-worst record in the NBA.
“Well, we’re bad at basketball,” said Johnson. “And this is a good basketball. Good and new. You can’t be good at basketball if you don’t have a good basketball. It’s about fundamentals and building from there.”
The former Lakers star said he saw the basketball while out shopping with his wife Cookie for yoga pants.
“I looked across the aisle and there I saw basketballs,” he said. “Many basketballs. And I said to Cookie: ‘I work for the Lakers basketball team now. I bet they could use a new basketball.’ She said I was probably right. And so I bought a basketball. It cost $29.99.”
Lakers vice president Jim Buss said he immediately approved of the acquisition upon seeing the basketball.
“This is the kind of thinking we need here with the Lakers and why I brought Magic in,” said Buss. “What a nice basketball.”
The ball also received raves from Lakers players.
“I want to shoot that new basketball,” said Lakers guard Nick Young. The ball is an outdoor basketball that is not approved for NBA play.