(SP) – Hugh Freeze took a big hit from one of his supposed top supporters today when Jesus Christ released a statement distancing himself from the former Ole Miss head coach.
“Coach Freeze has for years claimed to be a devout follower of mine,” read the statement, written via clouds in the heavens. “But I have never had any personal relationship with him. And I surely don’t support recruiting violations or using prostitutes.”
Jesus also made it clear that while he “hung out with prostitutes during my time, that was in hopes of leading them on the straight and narrow. The only place Coach Freeze has led them is to cheap hotels.”
Christ added that Freeze was never authorized to use his name on social media or in recruiting, stressing that if He was a fan of the former coach, things would have been a lot different on the field.
“Use your brains,” Jesus said. “If I was supporting Hugh Freeze, they would have gone a lot better than 5-7 last year. Give Me some credit.”