1. LaVar Ball thinks he was better than Michael Jordan.

The Ball father told USA Today that he would have easily beaten Michael Jordan in their primes: “Back in my heyday, I would kill Michael Jordan one-on-one.” Michael Jordan, at worst, is one of the three greatest basketball players of all-time and LaVar Ball played one season at at Washington State in 1988 and averaged 2.2 points per game — the same year Jordan averaged 35.0 ppg for the Chicago Bulls. But maybe Ball was saying he would beat Jordan one-on-one at … baseball? Sure, one-on-one baseball isn’t a thing, but it still makes more sense than the idea of crap college player being able to beat Jordan at basketball. LaVar Ball: good at baseball, possibly.

2. LaVar Ball wants a billion dollar endorsement contract for his sons.

Ball also told USA Today that he believes his three young adult sons deserve a billion dollars: “A billion dollars, it has to be there. That’s our number, a billion, straight out of the gate. And you don’t have to give it to me all up front. Give us $100 mil over 10 years.” LeBron James currently has a billion dollar lifetime deal with Nike and Jordan is in that neighborhood, as well, and absolutely no one else is close. Kevin Durant has the second-biggest deal in the NBA after James and that’s a 10-year, $300 million contract with Nike.

Lonzo Ball is a UCLA point guard averaging 14.6 ppg who is not expected to be the No. 1 overall pick in June’s draft. The second ball son, LiAngelo, is a 3-star player in Chino Hills, California. And the third son, LaMelo, is 6-foot-1. If any company pays this batch of players a billion dollars, hyper-inflation will have struck America. Start hoarding gold and canned goods now!

3. LaVar Ball has his own apparel company: Big Baller Brand.

If Nike, adidas and Under Armour fail to produce a billion for his sons, LaVar has his own sports apparel company: Big Baller Brand, three B-words for each of the Ball sons. Here is the look of the offerings:

The first B is even a 3! Get it? #3lessed.

Yes, the Big Baller Brand has the look of something created by a person whose designs weren’t good enough for AND1 in the late ’90s. But 3BB doesn’t currently sell any oversized, stone-washed jeans or hoop earrings, so at least LaVar Ball has that over Michael Jordan’s style.

4. LaVar Ball thinks his oldest son is already better than Steph Curry.

LaVar Ball has twice said his son Lonzo, the point guard on a UCLA team that didn’t win the Pac-12 and is a 3-seed in the NCAA Tournament, is already better than Steph Curry — the reigning NBA MVP.

In fairness, if you suddenly made Lonzo Ball the point guard of an NBA team with a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals, it is 100-percent certain that that team would blow that 3-1 lead.

5. None of LaVar Ball’s sons are committed to Duke.

You’d think a family this unlikable would be all-in at Duke. Weird. Mike Krzyzewski doesn’t recruit like he used to.

Also see … UCLA’s Lonzo Ball to skip NCAA Tournament to prepare for NBA Draft

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