(SP) – Major League Baseball has hired acclaimed author J.K. Rowling to put to paper its long unwritten rules. Various reports say the author of the Harry Potter series will be paid a “significant sum” approaching $100 million for the job.
“It’s time to do what probably should have been done long ago,” MLB commissioner Rob Manfred said today, announcing the plan to forever change the unwritten rules to written rules. “Obviously, the unwritten rules are a very sacred in baseball and if we’re going to write them down, we don’t just want some random person to do it. That’s why we are commissioning one of the greatest authors living today.”
The British author admitted she doesn’t know much about the sport of baseball, but said she is eager to learn.
“I believe that writers can write about anything with the proper research,” she said. “However, I am very excited to learn that many baseball fans are very much like the character I created, Harry Potter, that they are bookish people with glasses. I think I’ll be able to relate to the sport very well.”
Despite attracting a huge literary name to the project, there was unsurprisingly some outrage around baseball to the decision to write down the unwritten rules.
“The first rule of the unwritten rules is that you can’t write the unwritten rules down,” said catcher Yadier Molina of the St. Louis Cardinals, an organization that adheres closely to the sport’s vague code. This J.K. Rowling better never show up at our park or she’s going to get a fastball in the teeth. Tell her to write that down.”
