Will there be sports during a nuclear holocaust? Sure. If roaches can survive nuclear war, then so can sports. And when that happens, here are some headlines you will surely see.

LaVar Ball: “I could beat North Korea one-on-one”

How does the entire NFC West being destroyed by flame impact your fantasy football lineup?

Kevin Durant announces he plans to fight for the United States: “They have the best chance to win a World War”

Study: NFL ratings down because millions of viewers have been killed and also Colin Kaepernick kneeling

Minor league baseball team holds Apocalypse Night, offering $1 tickets to anyone who is still alive

Roger Goodell stresses that playing football is safer than getting hit with a missile

Skip Bayless: “LeBron is to blame for Cleveland being reduced to ash”

Does baseball need to improve its pace of play so games end before the world does?

Nick Saban ignores mushroom cloud growing outside his office window: “Champions don’t give in to distractions”

Washington Capitals knocked out in 2nd Round of Stanley Cup Playoffs by warhead

John Calipari signs the world’s last five living 5-star recruits

Dennis Rodman chooses his wartime alliance: “I’m pleased to announce I’ve signed with Big Baller Brand”

Jerry Jones unveils plans for new $15 billion, tax-payer funded Cowboys Stadium/nuclear fallout shelter

Gen. Tebow defies critics, leads late comeback victory over North Korea at the Battle of Denver