BATON ROUGE, LA — LSU is reportedly scrambling to identify a long-term replacement for Les Miles after finding out that the program’s №1 choice, Eric Taylor, is a fictional person from a television show.
Athletic director Joe Alleva fired Miles after Saturday’s loss to Auburn because he was confident he could lure the dynamic East Dillion Lions coach from rural Texas to Louisiana for the bright lights of the SEC. But according to sources, soon after terminating Miles, Alleva was unable to get Taylor on the phone and then ultimately discovered the coach was a character played by Kyle Chandler, a 51-year old actor from Buffalo. Panicked, Alleva then hired Ed Orgeron as LSU’s interim head coach.
“Joe thought ‘Friday Night Lights’ was a documentary,” said a prominent LSU booster. “We all did. It was very realistic and gritty. We wanted Eric and Tammy Taylor here and thought we were going to have a home run hire. Instead, we have Ed Orgeron. I’m worried we made a big mistake.”
While the Tigers will likely end the season with Orgeron at the helm, LSU boosters have been in contact with Chandler in the last 24 hours about acting like a head coach for LSU.
“Head coaches are figureheads nowadays anyway,” said a booster. “If we can put a good staff around Kyle and he can pretend he’s Coach Taylor at games and practices and with recruits, that’s a situation that could really work well. I know he’s an actor — well, I know that now — but do we really think he could manage the clock worse than Les Miles? I doubt it.”