(SP) – Columbus Blue Jackets player Brandon Dubinsky showed the toughness that only hockey players have last night by skating through his shift despite being wracked by self-doubt.
The emotionally gruesome incident occurred in the second period Sunday night in the Blue Jackets’ loss to Pittsburgh when Penguins star Sidney Crosby easily skated past Dubinsky with the puck, causing the Columbus forward to suddenly realize that even his best effort is no match against the premier players in the sport.
“I was immediately overcome with sadness and depression,” said Dubinsky. “I felt tired. Sad. My legs didn’t even want to move. I just felt like laying down and crying. But I’m a hockey player, so I kept going.”
Dubinsky finally made it back to the bench and, after sitting for a while, made it out for his next shift, as well.
“When I finally reached the bench, I just slumped over and stared at my skates,” he said. “It was like: ‘This is my life. I’ll never be a great player. I’ll never win anything. I’ll always lose and no one in this league will ever respect me.’ I’ve never felt so much pain. But then I remembered that I’m paid to do this and I pushed through and kept taking shifts and skating until we inevitably lost.”
The Blue Jackets alternate captain said he will almost definitely play in his team’s next game.
“I have zero confidence and I feel an emptiness inside that is like a constant, dull pain,” he said. “But I still think I can convince myself to get out of bed to suffer even more humiliation because I have no self-respect.”
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