Let me guess. You didn’t start any of these guys in Week 3. MORON.

QB – Blake Bortles, Jaguars – 20-for-31, 244 yards, 4 TD

Let me guess: you didn’t have Blake Bortles in your lineup because he’s bad at football? Yes, he’s bad at football IN AMERICA. His numbers overseas are much better. Maybe do some research in the future, idiot.

RB – Chris Thompson, Washington – 188 total yards, TD

Was Rob Kelley going to play? Was Samaje Perine going to get all of the carries? Will you always be a dumbass who makes nothing but bad decisions? No. No. Yes.

RB – Jamaal Charles, Broncos – 57 total yards, TD

C.J. Anderson is the clear-cut No. 1 back in Denver. Yeah, LAST week, dipshit. Stop living in the past.

WR – Sterling Shepard, Giants – 7 catches, 133 yards, TD

Your record as a fantasy football team owner is not STERLING. Get it? The joke is that you suck at everything you do.

WR – Robby Anderson, Jets – 3 catches, 95 yards, TD

Oh, here we go. You blaming your crap team on you never hearing of a player before yesterday. Yawn.

TE – Marcedes Lewis, Jaguars – 4 catches, 62 yards, 3 TD

Hey, Marcedes Lewis only had three touchdowns in the last three seasons combined. No one saw this coming. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Flex – Bruce Ellington, Texans – 7 catches, 59 yards, TD

You goddam idiot.

 

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