“The Five” is a poorly-rated (failing!) show on FOX News in which five people provide opinions on the political issues of the day. This week, they decided to leave politics aside and discuss whether Colin Kaepernick deserves a job in the NFL.

Hashtag: StickToPolitics.

While most of the panel had terrible opinions on why Kaepernick shouldn’t be in the NFL, there were also terrible opinions on why he should be in the NFL. Behold the disaster and see if you can make it through the entire segment without taking a knee to protest bad TV:

It’s hard to pick the dumbest comments in those 6 minutes and 22 seconds of uninformed FAKE NEWS spouting, but here are a few highlights:

0:45 – Greg Gutfeld says he “doesn’t even care” about Colin Kaepernick’s “politics,” while opening a six-minute discussion of Colin Kaepernick and his politics on national television. Interesting approach.

1:10 – Gutfeld says he would be fired from FOX News if he decided to play football on the set instead of talking politics. FOX News’ No. 1 star Sean Hannity literally throws a football on the set every night yet somehow remains employed.

1:25 – Gutfeld says Kaepernick “risked nothing” by protesting in his “waning years” in the NFL. Kaepernick is only 29 years-old — far younger than Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Eli Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, Carson Palmer, Philip Rivers, Aaron Rodgers, Alex Smith, Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan and many other backup QBs in the league. Quarterbacks of Kaepernick’s stature make in the range of $10 to $20 million a year, meaning that if Kaepernick played into his mid-30s — and he has never been seriously injured and keeps himself in great shape — he actually risked $50 million on the low end and well over $100 million on the high end. More than nothing? Probably more than nothing.

1:45 – Gutfeld and Kimberly Guilfoyle kill some time by listing the names of some 49ers from the 1980s whose names they can remember.

2:20 – Paid, professional analyst Guilfoyle boils the issue down to “that’s the breaks.” Good stuff.

2:50 – In a sparsely-informed defense of Kaepernick, Joe Flacco is referred to as Falco. Not elite television here.

3:04 – Joe Flacco is again referred to as Falco. This television is even worse than Joe Flacco and dead Austrian rock singer Falco.

3:18 – The pro-Kaepernick argument continues on with a statement that jersey sales would be big for Kaepernick in Baltimore. Uhhhh … okay. The strength of a good pro-Kaepernick argument is that he is better than dozens of QBs currently in camps, not that he might sell some ugly purple jerseys in one of the league’s smaller markets.

3:30 – Falco guy continues on by saying Kaepernick “didn’t stand up for the pledge.” If true, that was a very disrespectful thing for Kaepernick to do in the fourth grade.

4:08 – Guilfoyle makes the case that Mike Vick is “a lot better” than Colin Kaepernick, revealing that she has not watched much football since enjoying the 49ers of the ’80s.

4:28 – Nationally-known idiot Jesse Watters calls someone else an idiot.

4:32 – Watters says Kaepernick is “bad for team chemistry.” Last season, Kaepernick’s 49ers teammates voted him the recipient of the Len Eshmont award, which is given each year to the 49er who “best exemplifies inspirational and courageous play.”

4:50 – Watters: “The majority of the Dolphins are black. How are the Miami Dolphins racist?” I hope this tape was immediately sent to the Broadcasting Hall of Fame.

5:15 – Watters says that Kaepernick is a “loser on the field and a loser off the field, bottom line.” Kaepernick is .500 in his career as an NFL starter (including the playoffs) and won a division championship and conference championship by the age of 25.

5:25 – Watters backs up his claim that Kaepernick is a loser off the field by arguing that “everybody hates him.”

5:50 – Dana Perino says the NFL’s ratings were down last year because of Kaepernick. In the study she cited, but apparently did not read, 9,200 people were asked if they watched less sports last year. Aaaaaaactually, 12% said they stopped watching football and 26% of that 12% said players kneeling was a factor in their decision. NFL ratings also returned to their recent levels after the presidential election ended and the Super Bowl had some of the highest ratings in the game’s history. Facts’ Lives Matter.

6:10 – “Jay Cutler, he played for the Broncos, that’s how I knew him.” – Dana Perino, providing a nice bow on six-plus minutes of informed debate.

About SportsPickle

SportsPickle is the premier site on the Internet for sports news and takes.

  • Arnold Layne

    Fantastic play by play breakdown of this segment. Forget the broadcasting hall of fame, this entire segment should be sent to the Smithsonian so future generations can witness just how great Fox News is.