SAN FRANCISCO — Former Philadelphia Eagles and San Francisco 49ers head coach Chip Kelly wants you to know that he will personally run your fantasy football team in 2017 in hopes it will open up some doors for him for future coaching opportunities in real football.
“Look, no offense to you, but you’ve never been a coach or GM in the NFL,” said Kelly. “I have. My expertise and football knowledge could be huge for your team. Just give me a shot, okay? Please. You don’t even have to pay me. Just give me a cut of the winnings if there are any. What do you say?”
The former Oregon coach also stressed that he would prefer to run a team that is not in a keeper league: “I love the idea of getting rid of everyone and starting over with new players every year,” he said. “I think I showed in Philadelphia that I can get rid of good players as well as anyone and still be somewhat competitive.”
Kelly was originally hoping to be considered for one of the open NFL head coach position after being fired by the 49ers, but has not received any interest. He also has not been approached by any teams about an offensive coordinator position and no college programs have reached out either.
“I mean, I guess high school is an option for me,” he said. “But I’d honestly prefer to coach a fantasy team over a high school team simply because I don’t really like dealing with, you know … actual people. Just being able to add and subtract players like they’re not humans sounds awesome to me.”
Kelly said that if you would like to take him up on his offer, to please e-mail him at his personal e-mail address: FootballGenius@aol.com.