BUFFALO — Leaving them each with a small suitcase full of clothing and a note saying the boys need a good home where someone could love them, the Buffalo Bills dropped the Ryan Twins off at the front door of local orphanage early this morning and drove off.
“Please take Rob and Rex and give them a good home,” read the note, scrawled on official Buffalo Bills letterhead. “They mean well, it just wasn’t working out here. They love football and food and cursing and weird pornography. I hope they can be placed somewhere where they can have all of that and where no one cares that they are bad at coaching football. Please don’t turn them away and do try to keep them together because they have no one else and nowhere else to go. Even the Jets didn’t want them.”
The identical twins were seen being welcomed into the Immaculate Heart Orphanage in downtown Buffalo soon after being dropped off. They are older than most in the foster care system, but Rev. Peter Riley, the director of the orphanage, said the 53-year olds “very much act like children. We will do our best to find them a new home.”
One possible option for the Ryan Twins is to find them a place to live nearby in Canada with a CFL team. They could also stay in the region and be placed as assistant coaches on a MAC team.
“I hope we can do right by them,” said Rev. Riley. “It’s good they were brought here. It would’ve been easy for them to get taken down Lake Erie and placed in Cleveland with the Browns. No one wants to see that happen to anyone.”