(SP) – The NCAA announced today that the Miami Hurricanes football program will be stripped of 10 scholarships next season over the repeated hurricanes that are swarming through the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic, calling the storms “an egregious lack of institutional control.”
“Eventually enough is enough,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert, announcing the punishment. “You can’t turn on the TV anymore without hearing negative things about the hurricanes. If they won’t reign their program in, then the NCAA will do it.”
Emmert was asked by reporters why the Miami football program should be punished for weather systems the team itself did not create. But he refused to give the Hurricanes a pass.
“Look, you are responsible for who and what you associate with,” said Emmert. “You say the Hurricanes themselves are not causing all this mayhem? Fine. I’m sure that’s one side of the story. But when they chose to call themselves Hurricanes, they had to accept the consequences.”
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell also announced today that he will suspend any current Hurricanes who reach the NFL for five games.
“Are we suspending people for stuff on weak evidence?” he said. “Oh, yeah. I’ll get in on some of that.”