(SP) – Basketball super-dad LaVar Ball is looking to capitalize on the abilities of his three sons again, this time by selling samples of his semen on eBay for a buy-it-now price of $500,000.
“Make a hoops star,” reads the eBay listing by a verified LaVar Ball account. “This semen has shown it can produce billion dollar players better than Steph Curry, and is shot from the loins of a player better than Michael Jordan. You can’t find better basketball semen anywhere. Invest in my semen and make your own billion dollar sons.”
Ball and his wife have produced current UCLA point guard Lonzo Ball, projected to be an early pick in this year’s NBA Draft, as well as two other sons slated to play basketball for the Bruins. Whether any of them will develop into good NBA players remains to be seen, but that isn’t stopping Ball from planning to ship his seed anywhere in North America for those willing to pay the fee.
“I’m just a dad who believes in his sons and believes in his superior semen,” said Ball. “If you want a kid who can ball, then you need what comes out of my Ball balls.”
An eBay representative was contacted about whether selling male ejaculate fits the site’s guidelines, and the spokesman said the site would review the listing. But Ball says he will sell his semen elsewhere if eBay pulls the listing down.
“The world needs this and I’ve done everything the right way,” he said. “It’s all been captured and preserved to medical standards and I gave it all an extra boost by imagining myself dunking all over Jordan while making it.”