WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to numerous White House sources, there is uncertainty on how to proceed with the situation with North Korea because staffers don’t know if President Trump was serious when he told them today to dispatch Dennis Rodman to the country to “fix it.”
“If it was anyone else who said it, I would have automatically assume it was a joke because Rodman is an idiot and a punchline,” said one staffer. “However, when the comment came from a fellow idiot and punchl- … well, we just don’t know what we’re supposed to do. I’ll leave it at that.”
White House officials have contacted Rodman to check on his availability in case President Trump was serious about sending him on behalf of the United States to speak to Kim Jong-un, but the retired basketball player is reportedly in Las Vegas and unreachable. Rodman appeared on Season 8 of Trump’s “Celebrity Apprentice” show in 2009 and endorsed the reality TV star for president. The former Bulls and Pistons star has met with the North Korean leader in recent years in Pyongyang.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 24, 2015
“I guess what we’ll have to do is wait and see if the president mentions Rodman a second time,” said a staffer. “If he says something like: ‘How are things going with The Worm in North Korea,’ or ‘How come they’re not talking about my friend Dennis on Fox & Friend,’ then that means it wasn’t a joke and he really wants to send him there as a diplomat and we’ll have to scramble and get him over there. My sense is that he is serious since we already have that wrestling lady in the Cabinet. I got burned on that one when he first said it because I laughed out loud. He didn’t care for that. I had to eat lunch with Sean Spicer for a week. Nothing but meatloaf.”
If Rodman is sent to North Korea, administration officials feel he will represent the president well.
“He’ll embarrass us,” said a staffer. “So it’s basically like sending the president himself.”