ANN ARBOR, MI – The Michigan Wolverines will likely be the choice for one of the top tight ends in the 2018 recruiting class after head coach Jim Harbaugh hired the boy’s beloved Golden Retriever puppy, Seymour, as his new Assistant Running Backs Coach.
“Seymour is a very good dog,” Harbaugh said today, denying he made the hire to lure 6-for-4, 235-pound tight end recruit Max Taylor from suburban Chicago. “I think he’ll be a great addition to the staff simply for morale alone. It will be easy to stay upbeat and positive with Seymour around.”
But Harbaugh also insisted that the blonde, eight-month old pup who loves to have its tummy rubbed will also provide great football insight to the staff.
“If you want an assistant running backs coach, I don’t think you can do better than getting someone who knows a thing or two about running and being elusive like a puppy,” said the coach. “And then you talk about his background. He’s a Golden Retriever, same as Air Bud. Did you ever see Air Bud: Golden Receiver? Great film. And a film, it’s worth nothing, in which Air Bud wore a blue and yellow uniform very close to a Michigan uniform. Anyway, thanks to the Air Bud connection, I think Seymour can really make our backs more of a receiving threat out of the backfield.”
Harbaugh said he will not close the door on hiring other pets and animals if “it’s a good fit,” but insisted he will not ever hire any “jive turkeys” to his staff. The head coach also continued to insist that he is not insane.