DURHAM, NC – Duke University cancelled all of its classes for Monday and is providing emotional and grief counselors for its student body after the Blue Devils basketball team was eliminated in the 2nd Round of the NCAA Tournament by South Carolina on Sunday night.

“Because I know the NCAA Tournament has been difficult for many of you (emotionally and mentally), I wanted to let you know that we will not be taking roll in class tomorrow,” the university’s president wrote in an e-mail to all students. “Take the time that you need to process this and then come back to class when you are able.”

Many Duke students said they will take the opportunity to skip class and receive counseling.

“My whole worldview has been shattered and it’s hard to just sit in a Poli Sci class nine hours after that happens, you know?” said Gavin Renfro, a Duke sophomore. “How could we lose to South Carolina, a state school that has never even been to the Sweet 16? It makes zero sense. It’s like the world has been turned upside down. All I know is that this is not my NCAA Tournament.”

In addition to the counseling, Duke is offering its students “kick stations” where they can take out their frustrations Grayson Allen-style by kicking things. Allen himself was seen there early this morning booting a mannequin in a Gamecocks jersey.

Other Duke students are being pulled from the school entirely.

“I brought my son here to be protected and to make him feel that he is the best,” said one father who sent a private jet to fly his son home. “He doesn’t need this. He can be named vice president of my company without finishing his four years at Duke.”

 

Also see … Grayson Allen excited to get started on offseason internship overcharging people for AIDS medication

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  • CarolSong

    You can’t be serious. How about they take the day and go do something good for those less fortunate.

    • thoughtsandconcerns

      No how about they get their sorry ass up go to class and get an education like their parents are paying for.. Just another fine examples of the pussies being raised in this generation