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PICTURE: Jay Williams Tweets That Justin Bieber is “Inspiring” in Clear Cry for Help

When you attend Duke, Bieber’s levels of douchery don’t even register. Continue Reading →
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BREAKING: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahahahahahaha Duke Lost to Mercer

Despite being a No. 3 seed in the 2014 NCAA Tournament, the Duke Blue Devils lost in the Round of 64 to No. 14 seed Mercer University, a tiny university in Macon, Georgia, that AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahahahahahahahahahah. Sorry. Where ... Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Mercer Dances After Beating Duke

It’s like this every day at Mercer. Continue Reading →
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Duke Out of NCAA Tournament After Getting Vasectomies

The Duke Blue Devils have announced that the team must pull out of the 2014 NCAA Tournament after the entire roster decided to time vasectomies with the opening days of the tournament. “They’re ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: The Worst Moment in Duke Basketball History, Starring Jason Garrett and Tony Romo

It’s a great day to be a UNC fan. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Duke Ball Boy Nearly Murdered by Dunk

Only at Duke do the ball boys look like the assistant coaches. Continue Reading →
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Nation Excited to See Which Duke Players It Will Despise as College Basketball Season Tips-Off

The men’s college basketball season is set to open as millions of sports fans will gather around their TVs to decide which Duke players they will despise with every fiber of their ... Continue Reading →
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Duke Track and Field Remakes Backstreet Boys Song

It's multiple layers of douche. It's doucheception. Continue Reading →
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Duke Selects Baby for Customary Pre-NCAA Tournament Child Sacrifice

The Duke Blue Devils, led by head coach Mike Krzyzewski, have found the baby they will use for their customary child sacrifice committed each year on the eve of their first NCAA Tournament ... Continue Reading →
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Lax Nut Shot, Bro

Sux, bro. Continue Reading →
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Report: This is Every Duke Basketball Fan

YOLDPFYPSEO: You Only Let Dad Pay For Your Private School Education Once. Continue Reading →
NCAA Basketball: Wake Forest at Duke

Ryan Kelly Miffed by Lack of Nationwide Hatred Toward Him: “Am I not a dorky white guy who plays for Duke?”

Duke senior power forward Ryan Kelly has just weeks left in a collegiate career that has one major hole in it. "I've never been hated like I thought I'd be when I came ... Continue Reading →
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Miami Mocks Duke with Floor Slaps

They must have been huge Steve Wojciechowski fans. Continue Reading →
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Mike Krzyzewski Can’t Jump

So much for the stereotype about Polish people being great leapers. Continue Reading →
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NCAA Football 13 Confirms That Duke Sucks at Football

EA must be staffed by UNC grads. Continue Reading →
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Ideas for More Nerlens Noel-Inspired Recruit Hair Announcements

Continue Reading →
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Sad Duke Fans

I like the part where they’re devastated. Continue Reading →
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CBS Already Finished with "One Shining Moment" Montage After Duke Loss

An annual NCAA tournament tradition is arriving a bit early this year, as CBS will unveil its trademark "One Shining Moment" montage before Saturday's games. This year's ... Continue Reading →