Washington Times sports reporter Terry Corman will be forced to move into his mom’s basement after budget cuts at the paper left him without a job.

            “The Internet and all of those bloggers are killing the newspaper industry,” says Corman. “It’s a plague. Who reads that crap anyway? I can write a wrap-up article of a college baseball game with the best of them. But no one wants that sort of important sports news anymore. I guess it just goes to show how stupid the public has become.”

            Unable to find another paper looking to hire a college baseball – and, in a pinch, college softball and tennis – reporter, Corman has been forced to put his house on the market and will move into his mother’s basement next week.

            “I have never been so low. Everyone knows the mother’s basement is the domain of the Internet writer, the lowest of the low,” said Corman. “Where do they get off with their creativity? That’s not journalism. There’s no way I’ll become a blogger down there. Writing multiple things each day for almost no pay? That’s for saps. I’ll take one or two articles a week on a union-protected salary, thank you very much.”

            But Corman will find a surprise waiting for him when he moves into his mother’s basement.

            “My other son, Kyle, already lives in my basement,” said Mrs. Corman. “He’s a very successful writer on the Internet. Has his own website and everything. It’s quite popular. You should see what he’s done with the basement.”

            Outfitted with two flatscreens, a leather sofa, a bar, a spare bedroom, and home gym, Kyle has used the growing income he is making writing online to build a dream basement in his mother’s home.

            “Advertising revenue is flowing into online media,” says Kyle Corman. “Educated people, high earners and that 12-35 demographic – pretty much everyone who marketers want to go after – are turning more and more to the Internet. And that’s only going to continue. So, yeah, money-wise I’m doing pretty well. Better than my brother, at least.”