Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn has been named “Sexiest Man Alive” by ‘Gay Priest Monthly’ in this month’s edition of the magazine, the leading publication for homosexual clergy. It is the magazine’s first “Sexiest Man” edition in what some think might be its last issue in light of the Vatican’s ruling last week banning sexually-active homosexuals from entering the priesthood.

            “Deep, brown eyes. Muscular arms and a rippling torso. Thick, wavy hair. And the pinkest, most luscious lips in all of Christendom. Oh, and did we mention he’s the young, hotshot quarterback of God’s favorite football team? Brady Quinn, our first-ever Sexiest Man Alive, would make even the most chaste priest bite his fist in lustful frustration,” reads the introduction to the 10-page article and photo spread.

            Quinn was the run-away winner in Sexiest Man voting among ‘Gay Priest Montly’ editors, garnering 78-percent of the vote to actor-director Mel Gibson’s 18-percent. Fighting Irish head coach Charlie Weis received two percent.

            “We thought Brady Quinn has everything our readership looks for in a man: He’s young, he’s strong, he’s a leader and he is a regular Mass attendee,” said the ‘Gay Priest Monthly’s’ editor, Father Michael McGee. “But most of all, he is totally freaking hot.”

            With some reports and studies putting the number of homosexuals in the priesthood as high a 60 to 75 percent in the United States, ‘Gay Priest Monthly’ has had a large and loyal readership over the years. But Pope Benedict XVI’s recent moves to cut off the flow of practicing homosexuals into seminaries, the magazine’s days may be numbered.

            “This Sexiest Man issue had been in the works for a while, mainly because I selfishly wanted to meet Brady Quinn – and let me say, he’s just as dreamy as I expected – but if this happens to be our final one, so be it,” said Father McGee. “At least we’ll have gone out with a bang.”

            Quinn said he was honored by the recognition, but a bit uncomfortable.

            “Well sure, I guess it’s sort of flattering to know that all these priests find me sexy,” he said. “But I kind of wish I hadn’t known. I already suspect as much when I go to Mass, and it takes all I can muster to put that out of my mind and focus on the true reason for being there.”