Representatives from 30 different countries held a three-hour, closed-door meeting yesterday at United Nations headquarters in New York to strategize ways in which the world can protect itself if New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick ever decides to use his many powers for evil instead for football.

            “Even though we are not American, we watch television and we have heard about this unstoppable man, Bill Belichick,” said Dieter Hummel, Germany’s UN ambassador. “If the reports are correct – that he is a genius the likes the world has never seen – then we need to prepare ourselves should he set his sights on world domination.”

            Members of the UN Security council were included in the meeting to discuss military options for defeating Belichick.

            “I’ve been pushing for this meeting since last year when Belichick won the Super Bowl for the second time. I could see he was a developing threat,” said Marie Dartaire of France. “We fear Belichick will grow tired of dominating his NFL peers and start lusting for power on an international stage.”

            Delegates discussed various options of neutralizing Belichick, including offering him control of a small island nation in hopes of appeasing him, but left the meeting feeling deflated.

            “I’m not sure there’s much we can do. Everything he puts his mind to he accomplishes. We are all just his pawns,” said Russian delegate Vladimir Nuvtesyn. “The consensus is that Belichick is so much smarter than everyone else that there is really now way he could be stopped. Instead, I hope we all pray that he remains motivated by football and doesn’t set his sights on grander goals.”

            “Just as he can win Super Bowls regardless of the talent level of his teams, we think he’d be able to use any military – no matter how small or well-trained – to crush the entire world in one brilliant, and perfectly-calculated attack,” said Hummel.

            But other members of the UN are not worried about the New England coach.

            “I remember these same delegates held meetings over Jon Gruden and Bill Parcells in recent years, and how foolish does that look now?” said Lawrence DeGroat of Canada. “I even remember some people being concerned about Norv Turner back in the ‘90s when he was hired away from the Cowboys by the Redskins. Yes, Bill Belichick is perhaps the smartest person ever, but let’s not go overboard.”