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Roger Goodell’s Schedule for the Day

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VIDEO: Crosby, Ovechkin, Oshie and Other NHL Players Try to Guess Their “NHL 15″ Rating

Ovechkin clearly thinks they’re using ratings from five years ago. Continue Reading →
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President Obama Orders Targeted Airstrikes on NFL Teams

President Obama today authorized a U.S. military campaign against the NFL, authorizing U.S. airstrikes of the NFL headquarters along with expanded airstrikes in NFL cities as he ... Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Braves Fan Captures Braves Season by Taking a Foul Ball to the Face

He’s still better at baseball than B.J. Upton. Continue Reading →
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Today’s Reader Hot Takes

On Jameis Winston being suspended for a half for yelling an “offensive and vulgar” phrase on campus … Continue Reading →
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Oh, No. NFL News Reportedly About to Break.

According to several league sources and insiders, some NFL news is set to break within the hour. Continue Reading →
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The Crappiest Fantasy Team in America: Week 2!

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VIDEO: Cubs Fan Loses Wedding Ring While Catching HR Ball

From joy quickly to sorrow. This is a microcosm of the start and quick end of every Cubs season. Continue Reading →
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Orioles Turn Down Derek Jeter’s Request for the AL East Title as a Retirement Gift

The Baltimore Orioles clinched their first American League East crown since 1997 on Tuesday night, an accomplishment many are calling an egregious slap in the face to retiring Yankees ... Continue Reading →
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NFL Good Guys: 10 Players Who Have Never Been Linked to a Terrible Crime

1. Aaron Rodgers, QB, Packers Rodgers is the NFL’s reigning Bart Starr Man of the Year Award, given to a player who exemplifies outstanding leadership and character. Past winners ... Continue Reading →

NFL Asks Peyton Manning to Keep Hidden for a Few Months Whatever Horrible Crimes He’s Doing

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent a letter to Peyton Manning today, asking the Broncos quarterback to do “whatever is in your power to continue covering up various crimes you ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Flesh Tone + Shadows = Bad Women’s Cycling Uniforms

I can totally see their naked shins. Continue Reading →
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Griffins to Discontinue Faulty RG Line

The Griffins announced today that they will no longer produce RGs, in light of the many maintenance issues with the latest model, RGIII.  Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Morehead State Student Dunk Contest Goes Horribly Awry

He wanted to land on his feet, but he landed more on his head. (zing) Continue Reading →

>> SportsPickle on The Cauldron: Week 2 NFL Hangover <<

A “smart” football analyst might tell you that there are 32 NFL teams, all with different strengths and weaknesses, all with different offensive systems and defensive schemes, all ... Continue Reading →
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SportsPickle Store: The World’s Only “World’s #1 CB” T-Shirt

Prove the haters and the critics wrong. Show them you’re the world’s No. 1 CB with the “World’s #1 CB” t-shirt! Continue Reading →
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Honest NFL Headlines: Week 2

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All Athletic Children to be Incarcerated as Part of Long-Term Crime Prevention Program

In an wide-ranging agreement between the Justice Department, FBI, state police in all 50 states and municipal police forces throughout the United States, all American children with ... Continue Reading →